


Stars by the Boathouse

by PotterandEvans



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PotterandEvans/pseuds/PotterandEvans
Summary: James went for a late night walk not expecting to run into anyone on his travels.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Kudos: 19





	Stars by the Boathouse

Lily sat by the tree, her arms pulled up to her chest as she stared out at the water, the sun setting over the horizon. Her eyes shined with tears as she looked out, she couldn’t feel the cold, or hear the noises of the castle; it was just her and her thoughts. 

James had been walking along the edge of the lake, as he often did on a night like this. It was quiet, serene. Sirius had laughed at him before for taking these walks all by himself, but he really didn’t care. He enjoyed them. He came to a halt when he got closer to the castle, having been so lost in his own mind that he hadn’t realised that he wasn’t alone. 

Lily continued to stare out, her mind running at a mile a minute, spiralling away from her. She moved, unlocking her hands from around her legs, as she did this a twig broke but she didn’t notice. 

“Evans?” James said softly as he tentatively approached her, not failing to notice the tears streaking down her face. Obviously he didn’t want to get hexed, or yelled at. But he also hated to see her so upset, if there was anything he could do to make her smile, he’d try it. “You alright?”

The voice finally broke Lily out of her spiral and looked over to see him through the darker sky. “Hi… Sorry… I didn’t…” She frowned at him. “No. I’m not…”

James licked his lips, contemplating what he should do. She didn’t seem to be mad at him for interrupting her quiet moment, so he gingerly made his way closer to her. He sat just a few feet away, not wanting to invade her personal space. “Did you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know… It’s just like everything is falling away from me… Like one minute it’s all okay and then it’s not… I’m alone and scared and my head won't shut up…” She said, the tears continuing to fall down her face. 

“You’re not alone.” James said softly, wanting more than anything to brush her tears away and hold her close. But again, he was going to respect her boundaries. “I mean, you have so many friends, Evans. People who will listen, and look after you. I know we aren’t friends by any means, and you hate my guts. But I’ll always be here if you need something to hang onto to not fall away. Even if that something is jinxing me so my hair falls out.”

“The world is screwed up James. You saw him, you saw Snape, what he said, what he did…” She sighed and pushed her head into her hands. “My mum’s sick. She’s been sick for a while… I don’t… I don’t know what I’d do without her, without him. They are home, my home and if I lose them both then what? Where is my home?”

He chewed his lower lip, his fingers picking at a loose thread on his trousers. He didn’t know how to answer her, how could he? For years she had pushed him away, which was his own fault of course for being a world class prat. But that meant that as much as he fancied this girl, he knew barely anything about her, about her life outside of the persona she had at school. 

“Snape is… He’s an idiot, in all honesty. For doing that to you. If I had been in his position, I wouldn’t have dared even toe the line in finding a way to lose you. He doesn’t deserve you, not if he thinks muggleborns are so horrible.” He drew a deep breath, trying to be careful with his words. “Home is wherever you make it. I’d say Hogwarts is my home, no matter how much I love my parents. And even when I leave this castle, I still think it will always be the place that I remember as being where I had some of the best days of my life.”

“I guess so… I didn’t really think about it like that…” She sighed, resting her head on her knees. “I wish I came from a wizarding family…” She shrugged, “It would just be easier, everything would be easier…” She took a deep breath. “What are you doing out here so late?” She asked, looking across at him. 

“I… I was taking a walk.” James blushed, shifting against the grass slightly uncomfortably. “You aren’t going to give me a detention are you, Miss Prefect?” He smiled at her, hoping that his attempt to help her out might be met with kindness rather than yet another detention under his belt. 

Lily gave him a watery smile, “Don’t worry, I would have to tell someone I was out here if I got you shoved in detention.” She smiled, wiping at her face and sat back against the tree. “Sorry to dump all that on you…”

“It’s not a problem, I’m a good listener.” James smiled warmly, keeping his hands rooted firmly in his lap so that he didn’t reach over to brush an eyelash off of her cheek. “I’m sorry for interrupting, you didn’t seem like you should be alone right now.”

“I’m glad you did, don’t want to be caught by a teacher or something…” She said tucking her hair behind her ears. “Thanks for  _ protecting my honour  _ with Snape. I’m sorry I shouted at you.”

“Sorry?” James’ smile widened, his body jolting forwards in surprise. “Did Lily Evans just  _ thank  _ me?” He was being a prat again, but sometimes he just couldn't help it. “It’s unheard of!” 

“Don’t get used to it, Potter.” She let out a small laugh. “You’ll be an arrogant toerag again tomorrow.” She said, standing up and stretching, she had been sitting there for hours. “Can I join you? For your walk? You’re less likely to get in trouble if you are walking with a prefect.”

James wasn’t about to admit that he had already completed the walk, he would absolutely do another lap of the lake if it meant that he had Lily by his side. “I’d like that.” He said as he also got to his feet, brushing at his trousers to try and avoid grass stains.

“After you.” She said, letting him lead the walk, keeping a bit of distance between them, but walking happily by the water. “I hear Sirius and Remus are arguing, I’m sure that’s hell for you…”

"I… There's good reason." James shrugged, his hands in his pockets as they walked around the edge of the lake. "For once I agree with Remus too, Sirius has… Well he's been even more of a prick than usual."

“You boys will make up. You always do.” She said, nudging his arm. “You’ll do some stupid prank together and everything will be fine.” She kicked a stone into the water. 

"I hope so." James smiled, trying not to show how flushed his cheeks were that they were finally having a civilised conversation like this. "It would kill me if they didn't ever sort it out." 

“Remus is way too smitten with Sirius to keep that going.” She said with a roll of her eyes. “I swear Sirius is the only person Remus ever talks about…”

"What? Smitten?" James laughed, completely oblivious to what Lily had obviously noticed before. "You're pulling my wand, Evans." 

Lily bit her lip and looked away from him. “Or just they are best friends, I don’t mean like smitten, smitten…” She kicked another rock. “I’m basically saying it’ll all be fine.”

"Right…" James smirked, his eyebrow raised. He stepped a little closer to her, so the distance between them was lessened slightly. "Well, I appreciate your optimism."

“That’s what I’m here for right?” She smiled. “I’m usually a bit more… optimistic.” She felt a shiver run through her. 

“Are you cold?” James said, but didn’t wait for an answer. He pulled off his school jumper, holding it out to her. He was pretty warm from walking around the lake twice anyway. 

“I’m n-” She didn’t finish her sentence and took the jumper pulling it over her head. “Thanks.” She said wrapping her arms around her, the scent of his jumper holding her close and making her feel safe. 

James felt the chill in the air, now only wearing his school shirt. But he could cope with it. He shoved his hands in his pockets, continuing to walk around the lake. “Are you feeling any better? Anything else you want to get off your chest?”

“I’m okay… Sorry. I don’t usually… I don’t usually do that around people.” She laughed. “I’m okay James. Really, I’m good. Are you?”

“That’s the second time you’ve called me that.” He hadn’t really meant to say it out loud, but he wasn’t used to hearing his name being spoken in her voice. “By my name, I mean.” 

“Sorry, Potter.” She smiled at him and elbowed him as they continued to walk. “Weirder things have happened…” She looked down at the ground. “I don’t actually hate you, you know… Like… You needed to get the hint that you needed to stop asking me out, but I didn’t hate you.”

"I was a right prick, wasn't I?" James felt his chest swell with pride at her words, her confession. Never in a million years had he imagined that Lily Evans would actually maybe like him. "I'm sorry for all of that, I don't know if I've ever actually apologised for tormenting you all these years."

“You haven’t…” She said, holding the jumper close around her. “But it’s okay… You stood up for me when I needed it. I’m sorry I snapped at you for it.” She sighed. “The world's weird at the moment…”

“I think you can be forgiven for being a little prickly.” James smiled, unsure of how the hell this turn of events had occurred. He wouldn’t trade it for anything though, not while Lily Evans was being so kind to him. “I believe everyone has a right to be tense.”

“Yeah… But I guess it’s our lot in life… We were born to grow up during a war…” She shrugged. “Just got to take things as they are. We should head back, don’t want to get caught…”

James glanced up at the castle, seeing lights starting to fade in the windows as the inhabitants all started to settle into their beds. He knew she was probably right, but also he was enjoying spending this time with her. Just the two of them, alone. “Are you sure? Because honestly I’d rather freeze to death out here than have to go back to the dormitory with the atmosphere between Remus and Sirius at the moment.” He confessed.

Lily smiled, taking out her wand and placing a warming charm on his shirt to keep him warm. “I guess we can stay out a bit longer.” She said as they walked around the edge to the boat house, Lily walked down to the edge of the small wooden walkway and sat on the edge letting her legs dangle over the water. 

James grinned as her magic washed over him, the goosebumps on his arms fading as the charm warmed him up nicely. He sat down beside her on the walkway, but laid flat on his back so that he could look up at the stars. “I love how clear the skies are here, especially at this time of year.”

Lily waited a moment before lying back next to him. “They are beautiful, makes me wish I took astronomy…” She smiled, her hair fanning out and lying on James’ shoulder. “I got told that wizards have different names for the constellations…”

James’ breath hitched in his chest as she laid next to him, her hair brushing over his cheek. “Do we?” He smiled, turning his head to look over her face, even though her eyes were fixed on the stars. “Then again, I don’t know what the muggle names are for them.” 

Lily grinned, “Well like…” She looked up before pointing. “That’s Ursa Major, or mostly known as the big dipper. But in wizarding astronomy it’s… Merlin’s hat or something…” She shrugged, still looking over the night sky. 

“Merlin’s hat?” James snorted, one hand moving to rest on top of his stomach. “Oh, Evans, you really don’t know anything about astronomy, do you?” He was still looking at her, rather than the stars. He’d only been this close to her once before, and that time she had been screaming in his face about some prank or attempt to date her. This time was far more preferable. 

“Like I said, I don’t know.” She rolled her eyes pulling out her wand and using it to drop water on him. She smirked and continued to lay back while wearing his jumper. “Like you know much more…”

James gasped as he felt the water splash over him, the warming charm she had cast now doing nothing to help him as the cold water felt like it cut right through to the bone. "That was very rude, Evans." He said, grabbing his own wand. With a flick, he was dry once again. "Unfortunately for you, I'm also pretty good at magic."

“Oh I’m aware… It’s just annoying.” She smirked and looked over at him, her face very close to his. “Thought I’d get you back for at least one of the annoying things you do.”

“That’s fair enough.” James said softly, his voice hardly more than a whisper as he looked into her eyes. He hadn’t expected her to look over at him, and he had felt his stomach clench when he got such a clear view of the green in her eyes. “I deserved it.”

“You did.” She smirked at him, her heart pounding loudly in her chest as she stared into his face. “You very much did.” She laughed. 

“I’m not going to apologise again.” He grinned, finally managing to tear his eyes away from hers, for fear of doing something stupid like attempting to kiss her. He didn’t think she would appreciate that all that much. “I am trying to make up for it though.”

Lily blushed and lay back again looking up at the skies. “I’ve noticed. Also Remus told me…” She grinned. “You’re doing well… I was even going to invite you to our picnic we had planned for the weekend. Sirius and Remus were coming, so thought we’d invite you as well…”

“A picnic?” James grinned, his eyes flicking to her face once again. “You’re really inviting me to a weekend picnic? Evans, pinch me, I think I’m dreaming.” He pulled up the sleeve of his shirt as he offered his arm out to her, waiting for her to pinch him.

“Yes, a picnic.. Just a bunch of friends having food outside. Nothing more, don’t go getting any ideas, Potter.” She smirked, she pinched him and laughed. “Just being polite, Peter is invited as well. So best behaviour, or it won't happen again.”

“Evans, I am always on my best behaviour now.” He laughed with her, letting his arm fall back to his side after she pinched him. He accidentally brushed his fingers against hers as he let it drop, the sensation of her touch sending goosebumps up his arm. 

Lily laughed, laying her arms down as well, her hand brushing against his. “I’ll have to see proof to believe that.” She mocked. They fell back into a comfortable silence as the sounds of the castle and the ground became still. 

It took James a few moments to work up the courage, but after a while he very carefully moved his hand so that his fingers were touching hers, letting them tangle together.

Lily froze when James' fingers touched hers. James Potter was holding her hand. “Best behaviour, right?” She said, resting her head back and closing her eyes. 

James was pretty surprised when Lily didn't pull her hand away, their fingers still laced together. "Best behaviour…" He whispered, taking opportunity while her eyes were closed to study her face intently.

Lily lay there for a few moments longer. “We should go inside.” She said, again. “Marlene will start to worry if I’m not in our dorm and I’m sure Sirius will probably start thinking you’ve been taken by the giant squid and start a rescue mission. 

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” He said, turning his face back up to the sky when she spoke, so she didn’t catch him staring at her. “Forgive me if I don’t seem particularly eager, what with everything that’s been going on.” He smiled, squeezing her hand gently.

Lily smiled. “I know.” She then stood up, letting his hand fall back to the deck. “Come on.” She said, reaching her hand down to offer to help him stand up. 

James pushed himself into a sitting position when Lily got to her feet, and happily accepted her hand to help him up. He wasn’t exactly about to pass up the opportunity to feel Lily Evans’ hand in his, especially not when she had offered it to him. “Thanks.” He smiled, reluctant to drop her hand now that he was standing once again.

Lily smirked and started back towards the castle, keeping her hand in his. She felt stupid from that moment, holding his hand and wearing his jumper, if anyone saw them chaos would ensue. “You’re not forgiven, you know…”

“I’m sorry?” James asked, feeling giddy at the fact that Lily was willingly holding his hand as they walked together. “I thought you had already said I was forgiven tonight, or did I imagine that?” He smirked, nudging her shoulder with his.

“I mean, you aren’t forgiven for everything…” She said a small frown. “Like… I’m not suddenly going to think the sun shines out of your arse, and please don’t tell me about that time Sirius literally had the sun shining out of his arse, because I was there and I’m still scarred.” 

“Do you often think about me and my friend’s arses, Evans?” James laughed, squeezing her hand slightly to reassure her that he was teasing. “And I know, I don’t expect to ever be forgiven for all of the shit I’ve put you through. I would like to attempt to be friends though, what do you reckon?”

“I could do, friends…” She said and squeezed his hand back. “If that’s what you want? As long as there isn’t anymore… Evans you should date me, Evans we should hook up, Evans want a quickie in the broom closet.” She said, stopping and looking back at him, her body close to his. 

“Friends is good, I’m not going to harass you anymore. I’ve uh, I’ve got the hint.” He felt his cheeks warm slightly. Of course he still wanted more, every time he’d asked her out, deep down he’d been sincere. But if friends was what she wanted in order for them to get along, then friends it would have to be.

“Then friends it is.” She grinned up at him, she brushed some dust off his shirt before walking back towards the castle. She let go of his hand and skipped along, holding the sleeves of the jumper in her hands as it was too long. 

James chewed on his lower lip as he watched her skipping along, his hand flexing after she had let go of it. Oh how he longed to have her hand back in his, and it had only been a few seconds. After a few moments of watching Lily, he followed her, walking up the steps to enter the castle.

Lily held the door open for James as they snuck back into the castle, she led them along and up the stairs towards the seventh floor. She was thinking about the way he had looked at her and wasn’t really paying attention to her surroundings. 

James had decided to keep his hands firmly in his pockets, in case he had the stupid idea to reach for her again. He did feel lighter though, knowing that he had a friend in Lily now while his other friendships were slightly rocky.

“Mr Potter, Miss Evans. What time would you call this?” A voice broke Lily from her thoughts and she looked up to see a tartan dressing gown clad Professor McGonagall. 

“Professor…” Lily started, a little shocked to see her.

“Sorry, Professor. It’s my fault.” James interjected before Lily could say anything. “I was having a bit of a breakdown, end of term sadness and all that. Evans spotted me out there and was just trying to help.” It was his fault that they’d been out so late, he had convinced Lily to not go in early. So he should shoulder the blame. “Please, don’t punish her for this, she was just being kind.”

Lily frowned, shocked by the fact that James was protecting her, her mouth hung open slightly and she quickly closed it. 

“Enough, Potter.” McGonagall said, looking between the two. “Get back to your dorm rooms, now. And five points from Gryffindor.” She said raising an eyebrow at them, having taken very few points off of them, it wasn’t unknown that McGonagall was hoping that Gryffindor would win the house cup this year. “No funny business.” She said and walked past them. 

“Come on.” Lily said and grabbed James’ hand to pull him towards the dorm. 

“That was… Anticlimactic.” James said to Lily as they continued their journey through the castle to get to the common room. “Only five points? I think our dear Minerva has gone soft.

“She wants to lose the house cup as much as Filch likes children.” She said, rolling her eyes at James as they reached the portrait hole. “Wormwood.” She said to the fat lady who yawned but nodded, opening the archway. 

James snorted at that, climbing through the portrait hole with Lily. “Honestly, why did that man agree to work in a school? Grouchy bastard.” He looked around the empty common room, the fire reduced to smouldering embers. 

“Are you going up to bed?” She asked, her hand still in his. “We could always sit by the fire for a bit… If you wanted?”

“As if I would pass up that opportunity.” James winked at her, leading her over to the sofa before the fire. He walked backwards so as to not break eye contact. Something in him felt like it was soaring, he couldn’t quite believe his luck. 

“Well, I don’t want to make you go up and deal with the drama up there.” Lily said, her hand still in his. She moved to sit next to him, dropping his hand as she sat facing him, resting her head on the back of the sofa. 

“I’m very grateful for that.” He smiled, twisting his positioning on the sofa so one of his legs was tucked up on the cushion so that he could look at her properly. “It’s the tension, I hate it. We’ve never been like this before. Sure, there have been disagreements in the past but nothing like this. It’s horrible.”

“It won't be forever…” She said with a sad smile. “They’ll forgive each other, you’ll see…” She sighed and relaxed more into the cushions. “This is not how I expected my day to go…”

“I hope so.” James smiled, turning his head to stare into the embers of the fire. “I didn’t quite expect to end up here either, to be honest I just thought I was going to spend all night by the lake.”

“Well at least I saved you from freezing.” She said with a small smirk. She still had his jumper on and she kept thinking how she should take it off, but she didn’t want to. 

“Oh, please.” James chuckled, ignoring the fact that he was just now feeling his fingers again as they thawed out in front of the fireplace. “I can take a little cold. I think I was the one who saved  _ you  _ from freezing.” His eyes flicked to the jumper, a small smirk on his face. 

“I put that warming charm on you.” She said, raising her eyebrows at him. “Anyway, I didn’t need your jumper, you were just trying to be prince charming like you usually do. I’m just the only girl who can see it’s all an act.”

“Mhmm, sure.” James grinned, twisting almost impossibly further on the sofa to look at her, only one leg dangling over the side of the seat. “So that’s why you’re  _ still  _ wearing it? Even though we’re back in the warm?”

“I’m not completely warm yet. But I don’t need it. I can take it off if you want it back so badly.” She said with raised eyebrows at him. “I just didn’t see the point yet.”

“You can keep it. I’ve got more, and I like how it looks on you.” James said, smiling sincerely. “You seem comfortable in it anyway, so who am I to take away a good thing?”

“Letting me wear your clothes… Damn Potter someone would think you fancy me.” She joked, pulling the sleeves over her hands and holding her hands close. She yawned sitting back on the sofa. 

James hummed with a soft laugh, his eyes skating over her face. It was almost curious, the way he was looking at her, almost like he was seeing her for the first time. Maybe he was, maybe this was the first time he was really seeing the true Lily Evans. “Can I ask you something?” He said, after a moment of comfortable silence.

Lily wrapped her arms around herself and looked back at James. “Sure, what do you want to ask?”

James licked his lips nervously before shifting his position a little. “What do you really think of me now?” It had been something that had been pressing on his mind for a while, especially after all of their conversations that night. 

Lily frowned at him, watching him for a few moments as she thought of her answer. “Right now? I don’t know…” She licked her lip and looked across at the fire. “I don’t… I don’t hate you anymore… I mean, you have Remus to thank for that because that boy sings your praises…” She smiled. “I’ve been so used to you pestering me and being rude and annoying, I don’t know what I actually think of the you behind that anymore, if that makes sense?”

Whatever James had been hoping she would say, that wasn’t it. He couldn’t help the disappointment that flooded through him, his heart breaking just a little. So she didn’t hate him  _ anymore _ , which meant she had truly hated him in the past. Other than that, what improvements had he made? He’d changed so much about himself to try to get her to see who he truly was, had it all been futile? “Oh… I… I see.” He said, tearing his eyes away from her face to stare into the fireplace again.

“James…” She said the look on his face. “James, I didn’t mean it like that.” She said and put a hand on his arm. “I just…” She sighed. “I want you to be my friend. I want us to be friendly… That’s a step in the right direction, right?” She said softly. “I’m trying…”

“I know.” He said, but still didn’t turn his head to look at her. “I just… I’ve done everything I can to make you see who I am, who I  _ want  _ to be. I can’t- I can’t do anymore. If the person you see right now isn’t one you like, or- or-  _ whatever _ , then maybe I should leave you alone… Let you go…” He added the last sentence as a whisper.

James’ words made Lily panic, she could feel a sinking feeling in her stomach and he body was telling her not to let this go. “James… I have had Severus saying every bad thing under the sun about you for years, yet I’m still sat with you wearing your jumper and staying up past curfew… I’m not… I’m not opposed to anything… I’m not saying it will happen, but neither am I saying it wont. Is that enough for you?”

James turned his head, finally looking at her again. He looked completely wrecked, exhausted even. He’d been telling the truth, he was tired of fighting for what seemed to be a lost cause. Yet in typical Lily Evans fashion, she had just given him a glimmer of hope. Which was quite possibly the cruelest thing she could have done. “So you’re saying that all of that animosity towards me was because of Snape?” 

“Not all of it…” She said and ran her hands through her hair. “I don’t know James… I don’t know what I’m thinking… I don’t know why I spent all that time hating you even though my friends liked you. Yeah his hatred of you, it probably rubbed off on me, adding to your constant catcalling, it put me off. But today, you today… It was different. We walked and talked and you helped, you made me feel like… Well like how I should feel. Snape’s out of my life now and maybe I feel better for it, maybe I’m not spending my life worrying about him and I can be me again, but this means I need time to find myself, because it’s been a long time since I had that. It doesn’t mean that I wont… I wont see you in a different light, that you won't make a warm feeling in my chest and make me want to sit by the fire with you and talk…” She took a breath. “Does that make any sense…”

It did. James nodded, his heart racing slightly. He hadn't expected her to say such things, that her feelings towards him had shifted so much. "I'm sorry… I shouldn't have said anything." He said softly, fiddling with the bottom of his shirt. "I didn't realise you felt that way…"

“It’s okay… Sorry I didn’t… I don’t know. Can we not deal with this now.” She said, relaxing back on the sofa. “How’s quidditch going? Isn’t there a big match next week?” 

"Yeah… Yeah of course." James said, tucking his other foot up onto the sofa so that he could hug his knees. He was grateful for the change of subject, he regretted ever asking. "Yeah, us against Ravenclaw! As long as we get 70 points before the snitch is caught, we're in the final." He grinned. Quidditch he could do, Quidditch was always easy to talk about. 

“That’s great. McGonagall will be happy, I overheard her talking to sprout and she has a bet on it against Professor Slughorn.” She giggled and yawned again, trying to hide it. “So you best win…”

"We'll do our best. I'm a hell of a chaser after all." James shifted himself on the sofa so that his head was resting on the arm. "Are you gonna come and watch?"

“As long as I get my work done. I’ll be there.” She moved to tuck her feet under her, “We sh-” She yawned. “Go to bed…”

“Probably…” James smiled, feeling himself also starting to get sleepy. “It’s probably two in the morning or something even worse.” He said, getting even more comfortable. “Ugh, going up to the dormitory seems like far too much effort.”

“Hmm…” Lily was drifting off already, her eyes drooping closed. “Full of a… Annoying people…” She muttered quietly. 

“Yeah… Lover’s tiffs…” He mumbled, his eyes sliding closed as he started to fall asleep on the sofa, the warmth of the embers in the fireplace and Lily beside him lulling him easily. 

Lily and James fell asleep and once the morning light hit through the windows, Lily’s head rested on James’ lap, his hand on her hair and a soft smile gracing both of their lips. 


End file.
